Because there’s a price on Mia Farrow’s delicate head now that she straight up told the world that Naomi Campbell is a liar.

Last week Naomi was summoned at “terrible inconvenience” to testify at the war crimes trial of former Liberian president Charles Taylor. Campbell claimed that he didn’t know that the midnight diamond delivery had come from him and that the stones looked like dirty pebbles.

Mia Farrow however remembers it differently. According to Farrow, Naomi was thrilled about the gift, knew exactly who it had come from, and boasted about it to everyone at the breakfast table the next morning.

Look out for the phone shank.

Because, as we all know, Ms Campbell is a crazy bitch. And she rolls with some shady people. But Frank used to roll with a shady lot too. And when he was around, no one wanted to mess. Naomi and her Russian mogul wouldn’t want to mess.

These are the couples for which you wish a Pensieve really existed. Wouldn’t you want to review Mia’s memories with Frank? I mean, she married FRANK SINATRA. If only for that one night at Truman Capote’s legendary Black & White Ball. If there was ever a party...

Katharine Graham wrote about the party in her Pulitzer Prize winning memoir Personal History. If you haven’t read it, you really, really have to. In fact, it’s probably mandatory these days in the age of endless Oprah rah rah rah-ing about women and power and progression. Kay was the publisher of The Washington Post during the Pentagon Papers revelations and Watergate, the first woman to head a major American company, and at one time the ONLY woman to sit on the Board at the Associated Press.

Please. I am telling you to feel sh-tty about yourself if you’ve read a Tori Spelling and not Kay Graham.

I hate that it’s always mentioned as a footnote – that Capote’s now legendary Black & White Ball was held in Kay’s honour. The way she writes about it is hilarious. Every significant decision, event, and movement in Kay’s life, for some reason, is always bordered by a party. She was an amazing contradiction, a feisty old school broad, and, obviously, for one night, Truman Capote’s pet at what has been called the party of the century. They throw that expression around much too much these days.

Click here to watch some of Mia Farrow’s testimony at the Hague.