Last week, I wrote this article about Michael Fassbender. It was offensive to some: the Fassbender fangirls. And one of them, she let me know:

Hi Lainey,

Your reading comprehension skills are sub par at best if you really think Fassbender yelled at the waiter in that article. You're such an insufferable, lying, c-nt. You know good and well he didn't but you'd write anything for the attention you think it's going to draw. I hope his people sue you one day. And you're a coward for not having a comment section. Everyone knows this. What's the matter, you ugly cow? Still upset Fassy didn't pay one f-cking iota of attention to you last year at TIFF? Nice watermarks on the photos, by the way. Why don't you take a tip from other sites like Just Jared and NOT put your hideous logo over people's faces? You've got stupidity for days, you know that? F-cking c-nt. This is why everyone hates you. And those pics have been on Tumblr since last weekend. Late, as usual, with your bullsh-t.

By the way, there's a rumor going around that you're the racist bitch who has been posting negative things about him online. I'm apt to agree and will help to spread that tidbit of info any way I can. I'm sure you understand how these things go.

You have a nice day.

“You’ve got stupidity for days” is a really great expression. But why would I post negative things about Michael Fassbender elsewhere online if I have my own website? No, no, don’t answer that. It’s a conversation that never ends. The point is, Michael Fassbender girls, Twi-Hards, Cumberbatch women, Gosling people, Brangelunatics, these FANS, they are very, very good at being angry and defending their beloved(s).


If I were the announcer (who, obviously, has stupidity for days) calling the Texas/Baylor game the other day, I would consider extra security. This comparison is HILARIOUS. Terrible, yes. But HILARIOUS. Listen:

Thanks MK!