It’s over. And like so many who came before him, I am ashamed. Ugh. Every guy I’ve ever dated, with the exception of maybe, like, three – one of whom I married – has been a mistake. Huge mistake. Hate them all. Like revolting. Like I wish I could take it back. And while Michael and I never dated, I do regret now. He’s officially off the Freebie Five. Because it’s been ages since we’ve seen him in the pool and meanwhile his turned out feet have finally sent me over the edge.

Have tried so hard to overlook it, to replay his races and ignore everything else, but the feet are too much. They are too much and I am too shallow. It’s done.

Here he is earlier this week announcing a $1 million donation to the Michael Phelps Foundation at the Boys and Girls Club of Burbank.

Note the flipflopped feet spread out in ballet first position.


As you know, Michael is hosting Saturday Night Live tomorrow. If his appearance at the VMAs was any indication… suffice to say, they’ll have to write their asses off.

The season premiere is expected to draw big numbers - SNL is always at its best in election years. Barack Obama will make an appearance, and rumour has it there will be some Tina Fey!

Of course…

Tina Fey will be playing Sarah Palin.

Love, love, love.

Photos from