SAG Crotch Itch: Mickey Rourke

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 05:38:35 January 26, 2009 05:38:35

It’s no secret…he’ll readily admit it… the man is depraved. Quite obviously, awards season turns him on. Or his psoriasis is flaring up. Whatever the reason, Mickey Rourke can’t keep his hands off his junk. Like constantly. Perhaps it’s his way of dealing with nerves. Rubbing one out to ease the anxiety. Sorry for the crass but the man has his hands down his pants. You were expecting elegance?

This is not the way to impress the Academy. And Mickey’s comeback is far from complete. Because so far, Sean Penn is owning his ass. And the Globe win doesn’t matter. Sean Penn didn’t even bother to show at the Globes, if that gives you any indication. As far as Oscar prediction science goes, the Globes do not factor. What factors is everything Sean has been taking home. Needless to say, a masturbation sabbatical might be in order if Mickey wants that Oscar. Just a suggestion.

Photos from

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