No Strings Attached was on one of the movie channels the other night. I can’t not watch it. Ashton Kutcher is a terrible actor. And he’s terrible in this movie. Like when he tells Natalie Portman at the end that this is it and she can’t be f-cking around with his feelings anymore, I’m into it, the way you’re into romantic comedies and you feel compelled to want the knots in your stomach to release for a happy ending, but at the same time, I am dying for the art of acting, watching him kill the craft.
Still… I must be the problem because I won’t change the channel. Here’s another reason why I’m the problem: Ashton Kutcher is insufferable. INSUFFERABLE. But I can’t say he’s not hot in that movie. I hate myself.
Anyway, here he is at Kimmel yesterday to promote his new show The Ranch. It’s been a while since he’s been in our faces. And it’s helped. Like, he’ll never be my favourite but there are other people to be annoyed with. Since I don’t ever want to give his dumbass credit for anything, I will attribute the decrease in his douche factor to Mila Kunis. Because I can totally hear her telling him to not be such a stupid f-ck and think through a complete thought before he tweets his stupidity. Mila Kunis was with him at Kimmel. They’ve been pretty quiet the last year or so with the baby. Now that he’s back on publicity duty, naturally, the discussion topic is the baby. Every article I’ve read is about baby Wyatt’s Easter. This is not interesting to me, I’m sorry. But hey, by all means, insist on being entitled to privacy while broadcasting your parenting decisions (whether or not to feed the baby sugar, whether or not to tell the baby about the Easter bunny) on national television. Can we talk about her clothes now? That’s a beautiful coat and I love the zigzag cut on her shoes – it’s subtle but it’s such a big design difference and totally makes up for the platform.