I’m into whatever Miley Cyrus is selling these days. Engaged? Sure. Sassy new haircut that somehow reverberated around the world? All over it. I had to look up what she’s actually working on right now – but that in itself isn’t a bad thing.
I don’t understand why she had to stifle The Haircut though – like, isn’t one of the points of a short haircut that you can kind of dress it up or down? I was sort of looking forward to seeing those sassy pieces flopping all over the place – kind of a Chelsea cut that didn’t take itself too seriously.
But someone talked her into it not being formal enough, or something – because, you know, the one thing you worry the most about at the VMAs is whether you’re at an appropriate level of formality.
So she wound up with the same overly formal hairstyle as Pink, who came across as the grandmother of this event just by virtue of how often she’s done this (seriously, I think she can sleepwalk through the trapeze work by now, right?) , and um, it’s not a terribly youthful cut on Pink either, you know? We have officially reached the point in history where the blown-back bleached-blonde bouffant is a mommy haircut. Maybe with a tank top and Converse, it might have been fine. Coupled as it was with the world’s most dour slinky black dress, and I was having some sort of stressed-out Sharon Stone fever dream.
Miley. The whole point is that it’s flippy and adorable and cute. If you’ve never felt more like yourself than you do with this hair, don’t let hairstylists who need to justify their day rate tart you up like this. Understand?
Good girl. Now go ride your bike or play with the dog or…I don’t know, rent chairs for your reception. (Sidebar: does Miley have any girlfriends anymore? I might be worried about her.)
