There’s an art to bouncing back. And while there are some tree hugger girls out there who’ll insist that we should be above it, we never are above it, and it’s pointless to fight it. When it’s time to see the boss who never appreciated you, when there’s a wedding and you’re sure to run into the girl who took your boyfriend, when you know that bitch who backstabbed you in university in English Lit will be at the New Year’s Eve party, of course you want to look toned and stylish and happy...and toned. Sometimes it remains unspoken, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.

And so for Miley Cyrus, now single after splitting from Liam Hemsworth, it’s a lot of bravado and carefree body language, and though not entirely convincing, I do not oppose the strategy. Her face however, specifically the excessive bloaty-ness of it, tells a different story. Salt is heartbreak’s favourite ingredient. But that beat-me mouth; any sympathy I have is negated by that beat-me mouth.

Miley was in New York yesterday for something to do with Justin Bieber. I think she may have joined him onstage. I don’t care enough to google the specifics. All I know is that it had something to do with that increasing ubiquitous – and irritating – bleating child and if I’m Liam Hemsworth, the fact that she’s keeping company with Bieber isn’t exactly making me think damn, she moved on to something better.

What she needs is a Nicholas Hoult – Sarah, I’m sorry don’t be mad, it’s just a hypothetical – or an Alex Pettyfer. After all, what dude, really, is threatened by Justin Bieber???


Photos from INF