It’s the top story this morning: newly 18 Miley Cyrus and a bong. Have you seen the video yet? Yes. The video. It’s here. Click.

According to TMZ – somehow they obtained the video so we’re going to go with their substance analysis – Miley is smoking salvia, which is legal. Salvia has “psychedelic” properties and that’s supposed to explain why she’s tripping. Or acting like she’s tripping. Have you ever seen a bitch act like she’s tripping to make herself seem cool? This is what it looks like to me. But whatever. The point is there’s big drama about Miley bonging something legal.

Because she hasn’t already declared, has been declaring, that she Can’t Be Tamed?

Frankly, I don’t find this all that alarming. An 18 year old goes to a party with her friends and smokes up. Please. Let me roll over and go back to sleep.

The problem here isn’t that she did it. The problem here is that she was sold on the promise that she wouldn’t. F-cking stupid.

What’s more annoying to me is her voice. Jesus Christ her voice, even in its most candid iteration, makes me feel violent. What’s more frustrating to me is why no one can be trusted in that goddamn town. Time and again these kids are exposed to other kids who keep selling them out. Who are these kids? It’s not like they just walk in from the sh-t part of town and start getting down with the stars. They’re privileged too. Too privileged I guess. Maybe not famous, but also super rich, with access, and, clearly, no f-cking steering, spending their days stealing from each other, backstabbing each other, compromising each other, exploiting each other...

Or am I out of touch? Are they all just like this now? Not just in Hollywood?

Because... this doesn’t seem to happen to Daniel Radcliffe or Emma Watson.

File photo from