She’s not quite Emmy Rossum – is it right to hate someone so young? – but she’s almost there…

Disney’s most profitable virgin, Miley Cyrus, wants to become her generation’s Carrie Bradshaw, revealing to TV Guide that she’d “love to do a younger, cleaner version of Sex and the City.”

Remember, Miley (nee Destiny Hope) is not yet 16.

This must be why her brain hasn’t fully developed. Because while she aspires to walking in SJP’s footsteps ON A SHOW ABOUT SEX (!!!), she also claims she’s a virgin… and won’t be giving up her wookie any time soon:

"I like to think of myself as the girl that no one can get, that no one can keep in their hand," Cyrus goes on.

Sit DOWN Miley Cyrus!

Does this look like a girl who is ungettable??? Nothing says unattainable than sending shower shots to the boy you have a crush on, right? And nothing says unattainable like that mouth. The mouth that has learned a thing or two…

“Even at my age, a lot of girls are starting to fall and I think if [abstaining] is a commitment girls make, that’s great.”

Always the same message. The same message Britney failed to live up to. The Mickey Mouse message. Britney was also a Mickey Mouse girl. Mickey Mouse girls never keep their promises.