My friend Tim is one of approximately five people who still listen to Glee cover songs on the regular. On Saturday, I texted Tim, “WAIT, WHAT?” He immediately responded with, “Naya and David?” It was the WTF news of the weekend—that (as of post time) was not an April Fools’ joke—for anyone who doesn’t just scroll past headlines with Naya Rivera’s name in them. Does anyone other than my friend Tim care who Naya Rivera dates? Probably not – unless that person is DAVID SPADE.
It’s so random. It’s almost as random as the time Janet Jackson dated Jermaine Dupri, except there are no Janets in this scenario. Individually, I don’t give a f-ck about either one of these people but together, I find them hilariously perplexing.
Naya Rivera and David Spade were spotted cuddling, giggling and hugging in Hawaii. Those are ET’s words, not mine. The eyewitness tells ET that Spade and Rivera kissed and “went for a short swim, hugged and had lots of body contact in the pool. They kept to one side of the pool where there was the most covering from prying eyes.”
Please. If they truly wanted privacy, they would go to their rooms. Instead, they stayed in full view of the “prying eyes” and “sat on lounge chairs and talked animatedly. They spent about an hour poolside together.”
What do Naya Rivera and David Spade talk animatedly about? Naya’s feud with Lea Michele? That time she walked in on Ariana Grande with her fiancé? Here’s my favourite part of the eye-witness account:
Rivera and Spade were joined by Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and their families at the pool. Spade is currently on the Here Comes the Funny Tour with his fellow comedians, who are all performing on Friday at the Maui Arts and Cultural Center.
Two things: first, that’s a very specific shout-out to the tour and venue. Does this smell a little bit like a stunt to drum up publicity for a comedy tour no one cares about? Second, if you are dating someone who bought tickets to this tour, break up with them immediately. The only thing I can think of that would be worse than making out with David Spade is hanging out with Adam Sandler. To give reluctant credit to Sandler and Rob Schneider, who are both over 50, they probably don’t want to spend their family (working) vacation hanging out with a millennial who wrote a tell-all book about her cast mates either. They are probably used to Spade bringing around women half his age though. His ex and the mother of his daughter is Playboy model Jillian Grace. She’s just a year older than Rivera. It’s easy to assume that Naya Rivera is dating strategically here given the 22-year age difference and the fact that she looks like a Victoria’s Secret model and he looks like, well, David Spade. This dude has allegedly dated Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Heather Locklear. HOW?
Rivera filed for divorce from Ryan Dorsey, the actor she rebounded from Big Sean with, in November. Her last IMDB credit is for a movie that came out in January I had never heard of that was co-written by – wait for it – David Spade.
Less than 24 hours after the news of this unlikely pairing broke, Naya Rivera responded to the rumours by posting this on her Instagram Story:
"Holy s--t, guys. The Easter bunny and the f--king tooth fairy are for sure dating. I just saw them.”
Someone give Naya Rivera her own comedy tour. The thing is, if the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy were dating, they would make WAY more sense together than Naya Rivera and f-cking David Spade.
Click here for the photos.