Rachel & Bing?
Most random rumour of the week: Steve Bing, father of Liz Hurley’s little Damien, the same loser who accused her of slutting and refused to acknowledge parental claims without a paternity test even though they were CLEARLY together, and yes, the same billionaire tool who couldn’t make it work with Nicole Kidman and Brooke Burns, now apparently wants to add Jennifer Aniston onto his belt notch. According to In Touch Weekly, they ran into each other at a restaurant recently and he slipped her his number, hoping she will call. She’s supposedly still considering it which is easily the most preposterous piece of smut since the equally dumbass claims about her agreeing to compete on Dancing With the Stars. Jen might be mediocre, maybe even a little desperate, and probably pretty pitiful these days but Jen is not NOT shallow. I mean look at this man. Look at him. He’s rich but he’s dorky. Without a trace of hotness (Brad), or a sense of humour (Vince), no cult following or cool factor, and absolutely no leverage except for money. And money is not what she’s after. Jennifer Aniston doesn’t need you to tell her that Steve Bing is a downgrade. Believe me, she KNOWS he’s a downgrade. Worse yet, she knows he’s a terrible photo opp…and at the end of the day, it’s ALWAYS about the photo opp, savvy? As for those other reports about a possible hook up with Lance Armstrong – looks good on paper but the truth is, he would chew that up and spit it back out. Said it before and I’ll say it again, I LOVE Lance, but Lance is ALL about Lance. Lance doesn’t sit around on a Friday night with a bottle of shiraz and play “Let’s Talk about our Feelings”. And if you think Jen was bad post-Brad, that is nothing compared to what will be left post-Lance. I’m telling you – it’s down to 2 unthreatening candidates well within her average reach: The unintimidatingly appealing John Stamos and the endless bore called Michael Vartan. Pray Goddess, let it be so.