Holy f-ck this dress. Few could do justice to this dress. My shorty dumpy ass would sh-t all over this dress, a total waste. Gran can. And Gran did. I almost wonder why she didn’t save it for the Oscars. Or maybe she’s planning something much better? See I say this and I jinx it.

Last night, it was the best Nicole Kidman’s looked in a long time. Maybe it’s ever since she admitted to the Botox. Maybe it’s like we all feel when we finally come clean about a lie we’ve been holding and suddenly, life seems so much less…toxic? I know it was like this when I was younger and lied to my ma. About who I played with at the park. About how I spent my money. About what happened to the 20 in her purse. She’d let me go with my dishonesty knowing that eventually, and it wouldn’t take long, I’d confess myself because she ingrained in me a hidden fear of the consequences of lying that I still carry around. Psychological warfare parenting is so underrated. You combine that with superstition and, well, suffice to say it worked on me.

I think maybe Nicole’s third lip is deflating too. She’s f-cked around with it for so long though it takes a while for that sh-t to let go of its bulge. Not sure if it’ll ever be the same.


Last night’s showing was impressive. And she was so f-cking cute singing along to Teenage Dream, right? Calculated or not, this is the side of Nicole Kidman I wouldn’t mind seeing more of. Click here to watch.


Will & Jada – does Tom know about this picture?

Photos from Wenn.com and ROBYN BECK/Kevin Mazur/Larry Busacca/Jason Merritt/Gettyimages.com