There is the Nicole you know from the red carpet. I love the red carpet Nicole. Always poised, always willing to take a risk, hardly ever boring and black…it’s why she’s on the Love List, it’s why she remains there in spite of the fact that she paid for love to promote an image. And then there’s the “other” Nicole. No no, not the one who turns up in interviews and pretends to live in Nashville with her children who’ve been there, like, maybe 2 times in the last year. No – not that one. The “other” one. The Nicole without the airbrush, without Balenciaga, without LaCroix and Galliano, without the adornments to distract from the core. I’m told THAT Nicole ain’t too stunning. And up to this point, I’ve refused to believe it. Sure, I say, that immobilised forehead is definitely wonk but she’s still beautiful! To which the reply has always been “Hmmmm…not so much Lainey. In person she’s actually really homely.” HOMELY?? HOMELY??? Nicole Kidman HOMELY? Jennifer Aniston maybe, but Nicole Kidman??? Bullsh-t, I said. Nicole Kidman is NOT homely. Even when she’s tried to be all Country Wife in Tennessee, she still ain’t homely. And then the recent Australia pics came out – the one with the flowers in her hair, the shine on her skin, you remember that? Now take a look at this one – of Nicole boarding her private jet, with Keith the dutiful husband blocking her from the rain. Check out her hair. Zoom right in, closely – does it remind you of what someone would look like if they had to wear a wig? And the blotchy ear with the cigarette behind it? And the sounds of creaking as she moves? Call me Cruise but all I can see is Crusty Old Lady….you? Anyway, to offset the disappointment, I’m attaching my favourite photo EVER of Nicole Kidman. These two belong together. Thanks to ML for the photo.