First, let me gloat. Here’s one for the small band of irritants who love emailing me every day and saying my smut is full of sh*t. Oh really? On February 13th – OVER TEN DAYS AGO – I reported first that Keith and Nicole had sent out wedding invitations for an Australian ceremony on March 11th, with a Plan B attached in the event of tabloid leaks. I reported this even though EVERYONE else was calling for Nashville nuptials in February. Read up if you missed it. Wouldn’t you know it – in the latest issue of US Weekly, the friggin’ gossip bible - Janice Min et al are saying virtually the same thing. That it’ll happen Down Under, first week of March. Curious coincidence, non? But as much as I love me some US Weekly, I’m going to have to claim credit for this one all by myself. Because smut is a bitch eat bitch world. And since my sources have been so good to me, I might as well gloat on their behalf. So gossips, remember who brings it to you first. And now, let’s get to more insider scoop on the Urban and his Botox babe. Straight from Nashville, there is no change on the wedding status. While they are leaning towards Plan B, everyone is still on standby for either Tennessee or Australia. What’s interesting though is that Keith is apparently becoming increasingly unhappy about being held on such a tight leash. While they were originally scheduled to be apart for the better part of 2 weeks just before Valentine’s Day and his Tampa performance on the 24th, I’m told Nicole summoned a last minute interim visit following the Katie/Tom break up controversy just to counteract her ex’s sudden PR attack. Hence an appearance at Nobu on Friday, complete with a very red, very visible Ferrari (from JustJared. Trust me gossips, y’all don’t go to Nobu and expect to remain undercover. My sources are reporting that Urban was extremely grumpy upon his return, wary of these new demanding obligations from Kidman and struggling to keep his roving tendencies in check. Here’s the best part though. Keith is apparently a boob man and the bouncing, flouncing jubblies on display in the front row of each and every one of his concerts is hard to ignore. Now if the titties get an invitation backstage? Well then the party is full on. At least when SHE’s not around. When she’s not around, he’s a different person. He is personable, he is charming, he is very, very, very forward and the man loves to prowl. However, when the pulled Kidman forehead looms on the horizon, he is sullen and difficult and very very nasty. Which is why his entourage calls her the “No Fun Zone.” And that, my friends, is a DIRECT QUOTE. As I hear it, people are actually taking bets about whether or not this wedding will really happen. One the one hand, he loves the notoriety the relationship has brought him. After all, a higher profile has never hurt anyone. The flipside is she is suffocating his freedom and my man reportedly isn’t sure about giving up all that groupie tail, even though SHE keeps pushing for all systems go and an open marriage as long as he keeps it on the DL. So what’s a lifelong bachelor to do? Some people think he won’t have the balls to cut her off while others think he’s close to his breaking point. And you thought the TomKat wedding watch was suspenseful??? Look out y’all. Who knew Nicole Kidman was such a devious little bitch???