Rabbit Hole screened here at TIFF on Monday to largely positive reviews, many saying it’s Nicole Kidman’s best film in a few years. Well that’s encouraging. Because as I’ve always said, despite my disdain for the marbleisation of her face, I do enjoy Gran’s acting. I do think she is very, very talented.

Keith Urban came with her to Toronto for the premiere. On the carpet it was handholding and affection and happy togetherness. As you can see, she kept it subdued on the style side. Later on I hit up the afterparty. Amazingly they arrived before I did. Which almost never happens. The talent always makes you wait.

But I walked into the vitaminwater backyard and there they were, holding court in the VIP section on a raised platform, Keith sitting back on the couches while Freeze was right up at the front, greeting people rather graciously. She was smiling, or trying to, and the face is crazy impeccable, unnaturally so. Obviously. As I’ve noted before, Kidman is very, very beautiful. But it doesn’t seem real. It’s a sculpture. And it freaks you out when it moves. Having said that, needles can save the face, if saving is the right word, but the neck is a different story. The face and the neck don’t match.

After a while, Keith came forward to meet the public too. But they did so separately, standing a metre or so apart, hosting their own pods of people. To her credit, Gran was very receptive to well known journalists from major publications approaching for a chat. All of them write favourably about her, of course, but all of them too have reputations for being very objective and calling out celebrities when they’ve been f-cking around. She obviously was on her best behaviour, hands clasped together in front of her body the whole time, checking in protectively once in a while on her young co-star Miles, and genuinely seeming to pay attention during all conversations. I didn’t see much interaction with her husband. Like I said, at that point, both of them were working in individual groupings, very, very much in sales mode.

The best part however was the exit.

They had put in a good hour. Suddenly they made to leave. And miraculously, the crowd, sensing their imminent departure, spontaneously formed a farewell receiving line. Nicole descended first. And it was like a scene from the state of the union, when the Commander in Chief enters through the double doors glad-handing all the politicians – Michael Douglas in The American President. Amazing. And hilarious. Because she’s also attended to by several secret service types. You know the kinds of bodyguards who keep touching their earpieces every 5 seconds to mutter something innocuous to whoever is listening on the other end for the added super intensity?

They hold their wristband walkie talkies up to their lips with instructions like “Northwest corner” or “eta is 5 minutes” or “secure the vehicle”, and I half expected Clint Eastwood in In the Line of Fire to jump out and starting yelling at people...

George Clooney rolls like this too. Except his dudes aren’t quite so ridiculous with the radio business. Nicole’s people are from the movies, full on. She must be in possession of nuclear launch codes. And when they leave you better not be in their way. Clear the path, no sharing cobblestones with the stars. Love this sh-t so much.


Photos from Wenn.com and Jason Merritt/Gettyimages.com