Porcelain to Porcine

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 8, 2011 12:08:33 August 8, 2011 12:08:33

There is no art to saying someone looks like a pig. It’s not clever and it’s not original. There is, then, no intent here to snark on Nicole Kidman. The reason I’m saying she looks like a pig is because, well, she actually looks like a pig. She wasn’t, of course, born looking like a pig. She was born with lovely features. Lovely porcelain skin. Lovely eyes. A lovely nose. Her own lovely, thin lips.

Check out Nicole Kidman on the set of The Paperboy with Matthew McConaughey in New Orleans the other day. Without lighting, without makeup, look at how she’s f-cked with her face, look at all the work. Look at how all the work is working against itself to make her look worse. Look at how the fillers in her cheeks are pushing her eyes up and closer together, making them so beady. Look how that is affecting her nose, like a snout. And look how her lips, all three of them, injected so many times, squeeze around her teeth, so that they buck out front, an open mouth breather through the slop.

She was SO beautiful. SO beautiful. One of the most beautiful. Not even close to looking like a pig. I look like a pig. A rat. A cockroach. Yes, yes, all of it. By birth. But Nicole Kidman... not by birth, not by birth but by design. It’s just so terribly depressing.

Photos from Sinky/Butters/Splashnewsonline.com

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