Nicole’s been hitting the gym hard lately. Tracy Anderson’s studio, if you’re interested. Everyone’s been going to Anderson’s lately. Everyone wants to be like Gwyneth. Does that bite your ass?

Anyway, Radar Online is reporting that Nicole is getting married this weekend. That there are trucks and wedding prep people buzzing around her dad Lionel’s place and something about the pool getting covered and even though everyone also said the same thing two weekends ago, and she turned up in New York instead, they all seem convinced that this is it.

Apparently it’s to be small and intimate and styled like Nicole, “vintage and romantic”. Why do people sound like such assholes when they talk about weddings? Me too. I was a wedding asshole for six long months.

As for keeping it tight – supposedly this has led to some drama among Nicole’s famous friends as she’s cut down the guest list considerably and is focusing on mostly just family. Love it. Just... she sold her baby photos. What are the chances she won’t sell her wedding photos? I really wish they wouldn’t...

And the next question: what about Ebola?

Nicole has not been seen with Ebola publicly in a long, LONG time. Amazing. There’s been nothing written about a breakup though, as Nicole probably doesn’t want to drag that sh-t out for headlines. On this occasion however, it might be unavoidable. If Ebola isn’t invited, if Ebola doesn’t get to go, and they’ve been lifelong friends...

That’s confirmation then, isn’t it?

If I see that piece of sh-t get papped on the way to the ceremony I’ll be so disappointed.

Photos from and