Ebola Paris Hilton will not be invited to the Oscars. There’s no f-cking way. That piece of sh-t can’t even step into an Oscar party. A few years ago, the same could be said of Nicole Richie. But now you see the power. The power of the motherhood whitewash. To her credit, Nicole’s transformation from anorexic twat to responsible parent and entrepreneur has been nothing short of remarkable. Getting to the Oscars then was the passing of her final exam.

She was invited of course as an extension of Joel Madden who was DJ’ing during commercial breaks. And she made the most of the occasion. I saw Nicole at the Roosevelt a few hours before the event. She was sitting down, casually dressed, seemed very skinny, looked bored. Totally different story on the carpet. Sleek, appropriately attired, respectful, and in person... so, so, SO beautiful. Really. Her face is extraordinary.

And I will say this. That dress camouflaged nothing. She is a small woman for sure. But the Nicole of old was proud of a concave stomach. A waist that caved in on itself. Hands that touch when she put them on her hips. This Nicole, and perhaps it doesn’t show in photos, still has some lingering pregnancy past in the mid-section. Nicole Richie needs spanx.

Now go back and read that sentence again. Nicole Richie needs spanx. Sure, she needs spanx less than I do, but the point is, it’s no longer concave. And she doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to “fix” that. And coming from where she used to be, I’d say that’s progress.


Joel was HOT. Wee, but hot.

Photos from Wenn.com