Not too long ago, Nicole Richie was a f-ck up. Then she pulled it together for baby Harlow. You think this is possible for Lindsay Lohan?

Screech. The thought of Lindsay Lohan with a kid is frightening. I can’t remember – did we used to say this about Nicole though?

There. I have satisfied the requirement to be kind once a day.

Let’s focus instead on Nicole’s clothes. Always Nicole’s clothes. Yesterday she wore a maxi dress underneath a denim jacket to get her hair done. The day before she and Harlow hit up Café Med for lunch. Are those dolphins?

See now I’m really, really jealous.

Animal print clothing…have a weakness for animal print clothing. Horses, owls, wildlife ranging from rabbits to moose, if it’s animal print, I must buy it. But I do not own dolphins. Where do these dolphins come from? Must investigate.

As for Nicole, while she may have pulled her sh-t together, it doesn’t mean she’s no longer a Mean Girl. Please. Nicole will always be a Mean Girl. She Mean Girl’d Lilo that night at the Marmont when the Ronsons cockblocked her from the party, remember?

The best moms are bitches. Mine is.

Photos from and