Porny might find a friend?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 7, 2011 08:45:47 July 7, 2011 08:45:47

As you know, I have been praying for a friend for Jessica Simpson for a long time. Jessica's friends don't tell her like it is. That she has dumbass for taste. That she dresses like two wrestling sausages in cling wrap. That she gives herself too easily. That she loves douchebags and golddiggers.

My Porny is supposed to be a judge on a new show called Fashion Star which sounds like a rip-off of Project Runway hosted by Elle Macpherson. Jessica is a brand now. A billion dollar one. So I guess that makes her an expert in good clothes?

Word is Nicole Richie has also been booked as the other judge on the show. Now this decision I understand. Nicole has great style. It may have been kickstarted by Rachel Zoe, but she's taken that and refined her own look.

The two of them on the same panel?

Here's what's interesting: Nicole used to be tight with Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton. They're no longer very close, even though Nicole hasn't publicly cut it off, but their circles are no longer overlapping. Ebola used to meangirl Jessica. Tina Fey told us that. That when Ebola hosted SNL, it kept wanting to do sketches making fun of Jessica being fat. Those are Ebola's words, not mine.

Now Jessica and Nicole will be working together? Nicole, despite becoming a mother and cleaning up her sh-t, is still a bitch, still the ringleader of a group of Too Cools who enjoys maligning those who are not cool enough. Jessica is an easy target. Has probably been a target. Will she still be a target?

Can we expect to see shots of Nicole Richie snide-snickering at her colleague, challenging her constantly, belittling her decisions, talking over her, condescending to her, feeding her bacon treats under the table?

Or will it be a kinder Nicole? A compassionate one. Still condescending and patronising, but with a GOOP approach - let me lower myself in charity work, it's what the privileged must do.

Jessica Simpson by Nicole Richie? I'm in.

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