They’re manufacturing it already.

Something to make you sick courtesy of Disney, the Vagina Virgin Jonas Family, and the people who spawned JailBait. Prepare yourselves…

It’s your favourite – Noah Cyrus (you last saw her prancing around in a bathing suit click here for a refresher), age 9, on a red carpet last weekend wearing more makeup than I do on eTalk, posing with her future boyfriend, Frankie, the bonus Jonas.


What business does a 9 year old have blowing kisses???

Do you like the coy “over the shoulder” pose?

Needless to say, in 5 years, these two will be “dating”. And she’ll proclaim her virginity. And Disney will squeeze and squeeze that child juice and sell it to the masses. But then they’ll go on tour together. And video themselves, um, doing things backstage. And it will leak. And there will be scandal. But this is not important because by then the Mouse will have found another 8 year old to take her place. It won’t matter if she goes on to abuse drugs and lose her mind.

Some indignant bitch will no doubt write to me later and tell me that because I’m not a mother – and because I’m Chinese – I can’t appreciate how adorable this is. If this is you – save it. Save your energy getting your 6 year old daughter ready for the next beauty pageant.

Because I can promise you, if I ever thawed out my womb and gave birth to the ultimate sacrifice, even if stopped hating kids, I would still, even then, I would still think this is SICK SH-T.

Thanks Fionna B.


Photos from