November 4, 2014 – Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 4, 2014 14:09:35 November 4, 2014 14:09:35

Helllooooo to all the members of the “Peter Mansbridge is My Co-Pilot” book club, meeting in Ottawa tonight! THANK YOU for picking Listen To The Squawking Chicken! And congratulations on almost 10 years! Spend 15 minutes on the book. Then talk about whether or not she has a biker girlfriend. You know who. And then remember to email me and give me all the details.

Tomorrow night in Vancouver, John Fluevog shoes is hosting a shopping event and previewing the Spring 2015 line with proceeds to benefit Carousel Theatre for Young People. Nuba’s doing the catering. Click here for more information.

To Nikita from Astrid because you’ve had a sh-tty few weeks and you’re always such a wonderful friend – here’s Jared Leto in a man-bun and Dave Franco who Astrid says you love “inexplicably” but I understand this, because he’s lovely, much lovelier than his brother.

Now Astrid, it’s your turn. Because yes, you are stressed, you are writing the bar, and your brother Alex is thinking of you. GOOD LUCK today! And when you pass, come back to The Social and maybe we can sneak in some hooch to celebrate!

Finally, “To our luscious-locked, loyal and loveable Lucia on her birthday. Even though you're supposed to be too beautiful to be funny (not your fault, you've never had to compensate for anything), you make us laugh every day. Whether you're charming 'Muricans on a tour of the US or celebrities on your home turf in Austria (through perfect deployment of snacks, or when risking an STD to charm Russell Brand), we know that your warmth and sass will bring you wonderful things in your new year. Let's face it, you're such a badass bitch that we feel a little bad for any obstacle dumb enough to get in your way. We can't wait to take TIFF with you this year, and hope you celebrate your birthday with a huge piece of cake (aka Weirdo Austrian Pie). For braving the fiery furnace of Phoenix to try to save the world from Bud Light, for channelling Veronica Mars to track down movie locations, for opening your heart to the glory of The Wire even though you knew it'd break you a million times each season, for performing community services like patiently helping your seniors find streams of information on the internets, for digging deep and finding a way to make peace with Shailene, and for staying up ridiculous hours just to live blog with us, here are your favourite men, with bonus Mindy and your favourite person with Tatiana. We are choosing to ignore your recent affinity for the Derp-Faced new SNL guy, because we love you, but not that much. Happiest of happy birthdays, our darling Shifty. #PIESNOTLIES”

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