I know he’s not the most empirically attractive fellow. But something about the way this man carries himself, something about the way he saunters across a stage, something about his mysterious drawl ignites a yearning in me that I cannot ignore. I imagine a blindfold and candles, the distant clanging of a belly dancer gyrating in another room, the sweet, hypnotic smell of incense clouding my judgment, and the kind of pleasure reserved only for the most decadent of lovers. That’s what Adrien Brody does for me. So should I throw him on the Freebie 5?