For at least 15 minutes. So long I have to stop, it’s giving me a headache. And I don’t feel at all pervy about it either. I don’t think you wear a dress like this, or design it to begin with, without wanting people to wonder about that delicate sheer and how it’s covering up the side breast. Which is exactly what I’m doing with Olivia Wilde.

This is Olivia tonight in London at the UK premiere of Cowboys & Aliens with Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig. I would never wear it, but I totally, totally love it. The problem with me is that mine just wouldn’t stay up like that. Hers are perfectly little enough to make this work. With some kind of ...

What is that? There’s something there. But I can’t make it out. And I don’t think it extends across her back. I don’t see a strap either. Is it a sticker? Look, I’m the first to say I’m bug-eyed and can’t see sh-t and if it took you 2 seconds to figure this out, great, but it’s taken 15 for me and I still haven’t so I guess I’m kinda impressed with whatever fashion device that’s been used here - used, not utilised! - to give her coverage and support underneath the transparency.

She looks good. Really dramatic and beautiful with the heavy lid and the red lips and the headband. And it’s not the first time Olivia has looked beautiful. She’s a beautiful girl. But that hasn’t exactly helped in terms of her movies. In fact, as I noted a couple of weeks ago, Olivia seems to be the common denominator in a string of underperforming movies. Obviously it’s not her fault, no, of course not...ish. But I think we can fairly say that she’s not a draw either. Did you read the NY Times profile of her recently? They proclaimed her. As the next... someone important. They really see something in her. The Hollywood people really do. They think she’s special. And you know what? I don’t dispute that. But so far they’ve done a piss poor job showing us what that is.

Photos from and Ian Gavan/