As I noted yesterday in the article about G and her star on the Walk of Fame – click here if you missed it - she looked like sh-t in the face. And many of you have written wondering whether or not she’s f-cked around with it. The eyes seemed swollen, the cheeks too... a little?
It’s always possible. She did however look a lot fresher later on Conan. Less eye pulling. More herself. So then I started wondering if the puffiness was because she’d been crying before her ceremony. What’s to cry about? Oh... nothing. Her life is perfect, remember? Even if the Hollywood Foreign Press Association rejected her Country Strong in favour of the Jolie’s widely panned The Tourist. After all, Gwyneth can’t sell magazines, she alienates others, and doesn’t pose with her husband on a red carpet. NBC and Dick Clark Productions, for the viewers you see, would much rather extend an invitation to Pitt Porn.
And...
Burlesque.
Gwyneth’s musical gets snubbed but the adorably awful Burlesque makes it there instead? Oh the indignity. And after all that hustling too. After all that being nice to, like, regular folk. And having to spend time with those country people. After all that... and no reward. Time for a bitch session at Jennifer Aniston’s house with Chelsea Handler!
Now this, Gwyneth haters, this you can shove up in her face. And maybe her tits too? Reese pointed it out to me in an email last night. A lot of people think G had her breasts done after her babies. I’m not a breast expert, especially not the implant variety, so I can’t say...but when you get fake ones, do they sag when you sit down? Because, as Reese noted, Gwyneth’s are ridin’ real low on Conan’s couch.
Photos from Wenn.com
