When I checked Twitter this morning, “Louis & Lauren” was a worldwide trending topic. One Direction and something is always a worldwide trending topic. At least one, sometimes two. Right now they’re trying to start a rumour that Zayn is rejoining the band. This is not happening. Not until his solo career is a dump.

“Louis & Lauren” refers to 1D’s Louis Tomlinson who was seen leaving the Britain’s Got Talent party with Fifth Harmony’s Lauren Jauregui. (Please note, this is not Camila Cabello, the Harmony who is a member of Taylor Swift’s crew.) Fifth Harmony, while obviously not at Spice Girl level yet, is slowly gaining momentum with a very strong social media presence …which… isn’t that most of the work these days, anyway? The possibility of a hookup between members of both bands then is a big deal for screaming teens, but even they might wonder if it’s too obvious, Simon Cowell. After all, he’s the architect behind both.

Louis has been on a tear lately though, having broken up with his girlfriend around the time Zayn bailed. Maybe he wants some of Harry Styles’s playboy action. Out of the five of them, Harry seems like the only one who hasn’t been in a long-term relationship since fame. Do it before the plunge. Because, well, we are past the peak, aren’t we?