Went to see Crazy, Stupid, Love yesterday. Wasn’t my favourite. Gosling was hot, I guess, but I used up all the energy I could have spent enjoying him being annoyed by the girl (Analeigh Tipton) who plays Jessica, the babysitter. Jacek couldn’t deal with her either. At one point he leaned over, “Jesus Christ, this girl is the most irritating overactor”. It was during the part when she asks her skanky friend for advice on how to attract an older man. Really??? REALLY? She is INSUFFERABLE.
Tipton’s problem is that she breathes, like, at minimum, three times during the delivery of a single sentence for dramatic effect. Is this is a thing now for the kids? I think it might be. I’m an old bitch from the old school who doesn’t understand the cool hip emo appeal of over-breathing acting through a script. It’s a technique many of you are already familiar with courtesy of Kristen Stewart. I actually never realised that Stewart drops the same over-breathing move until I watched it on Tipton in Crazy, Stupid, Love and it all came together. For all of you who email me to complain about Stewart’s infamous ticks and quirks – the lipbiting, the fidgeting etc – I think it’s the over-breathing that will kill it for me if she brings it to her role as Snow White.
As you may have heard, there are two Snow Whites that will hit theatres next year. Stewart’s version is a Lord of the Rings style interpretation of the story. Hence, I guess, the homage to Aragorn’s White Tree of Gondor on her shield. (One of these days we need to talk about LOTR because we watched parts of it on dvd at the country house on holiday this weekend and... I’ve just never been a Middle Earth girl, you know?)
Stewart’s Snow White is a warrior. Never mind that she is swimming in her armour – this character goes bitch to bitch with Charlize Theron’s queen, which means all the hair tucking behind the ear, the mumbling, the hands shoved in pockets, the open mouth stares, these plays have no place, or should have no place, in this story. It’s Stewart’s time to reinvent herself, to become something other than Bella Swan. Good.
Many of you consistently write to me – Lainey, she’s so annoying in Twilight, why do you think Kristen Stewart is a good actress? Well, Bella is SUPPOSED to be annoying. She’s a loser. She gives up her life. The things she believes about herself are the things she learns through eavesdropping. If Stewart annoyed you as Bella – maybe that’s the point, maybe you were supposed to hate her.
But you are right in expecting more from Stewart as Snow White. I do. And I think she’s capable of it. Capable of, hopefully, NOT over-breathing through a sentence. And capable of speaking with a convincing English accent? Her boyfriend can help her with that.
Attached – Stewart, Theron, Chris Hemsworth, and Sam Claflin at Comic-Con promoting Snow White and the Huntsman. I liked her makeup that day. And here’s Stewart arriving in London at the weekend to begin shooting.
Photos from Bauergriffinonline.com and Richie Buxo/Splashnewsonline.com
