Jen vs Kate: the battle for America"s Sweetheart
Janice Min. I love her. Us Weekly"s new cover…I"m assuming you"ve seen it? Is Kate Hudson with Owen Wilson? F&ck, I hope so. After all, they don"t call him the Butterscotch Stallion for nothing and even though he might not be her aesthetic equal, he"s undeniably much more appealing than that Crow, don"t you think? Especially a Crow who would creep on a doll? I"d say a little bit of Owen is exactly what she needs. I have no further details to offer beyond what"s in the magazine except to say that according to sources I"ve spoken with backstage at the MTV Movie Awards in June, when Kate and Owen and Matt Dillon were there together to present, there was nothing suspicious going on. They were not terribly tight, there was no awkward chemistry, nothing beyond friendship and camaraderie…and the sweet smell of something weedy. But that"s neither here nor there. The bottom line is that Kate is in the news. She"s single, she"s gorgeous, she glows, she has working eggs and a working womb, and she is a much more worthy candidate for the title. Kate Hudson - America"s New Sweetheart? Please Goddess, make it so. Anything to end the interminable reign of the industry"s most obsequious fraud, the most successfully sold, packaged, and repurposed celebrity in recent memory. So yes, I throw my vote in for Kate Hudson. Because on pedigree, on personality, on perkiness, and above all on pity-free (so far), she handily trounces the current. And…as if reading our minds…take a look at these photos from LAX - an inpromptu transfer of power perhaps? Something about Jen"s wistful expression at the very end, the last photo here, actually moved my heart a little, like the look that crosses the face of Miss Universe, after her final lap around the stage, no more cupped hand waves, no more fluttering lashes, Just Jen, no crown. You really think she won"t claw through every grain of sand in Malibu to get her PityBack? Please. This bitch is fighting for her life, y"all. She is threatened by a formidable opponent. Which means we are NOT going to hear the end of it for weeks. People today, Oprah tomorrow. Let"s hope Kate Hudson is up for the challenge.