I had a friend in high school. My ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, totally hated her. It’s hard to translate directly from Cantonese but basically she said that this friend, we’ll call her Babs, carried around a stink…and even if you didn’t do anything wrong, just being around Babs made you smell like Babs. She could infect you that way.

Oh, hi Ben Affleck.

As you know, it’s been a summer of sh-t for Ben. And somehow Tom Brady got dragged into his mess because Ben’s ex-nanny, Chrissy O, was photographed on a private jet wearing all four of his Super Bowl rings. Suddenly QB1 was involved in Ben’s scandal. Suddenly everyone started wondering whether or not QB1’s marriage was locked down. Ever since, the lower level tabloids have been rumouring that Tom and Gisele are having problems. Now PEOPLE is jumping into it posting an article this morning with a very click-baity headline: 

Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen's Marriage Under Fire as Close Source Defends Them: 'They're Living Life and Doing Great'

Sneaky, non?

You basically stopped reading at “marriage under fire”. Three alarms!

The story, however, isn’t quite the emergency as initially promised. PEOPLE quotes sources who tell the magazine that Tom can be “nasty and cold” when he’s at work. Sure. That’s basically New England weather. Also that he’s so “singularly focused” on his career, sometimes Gisele feels left out. See that’s where they lose me, because if anything, Gisele understands the win. Gisele is all about the win. Gisele is attracted to the win. Whatever he has to do to win.

Anyway, PEOPLE goes on to point out that the two have such busy schedules that they haven’t been able to spend as much time together as usual this summer and weren’t with each other for their birthdays – all of this has already been covered by the down market tabs.

After laying out the negatives, PEOPLE then comes in with other sources who insist that Tom and Gisele are totally fine.

Other sources also deny any reports of strife. "They're living their life, and they're doing great," says a source close to Bündchen. "They didn't spend his birthday together because he was in training camp." As for the Super Bowl rings pic? "That was utterly random. It was just a weird place, weird time situation."

Back in Boston, Brady and Bündchen still seem to be enjoying each other's company. The couple was spotted on at least two dates in the last few weeks, including an intimate dinner at Del Frisco’s Grille in Chestnut Hill. "It was just them, no kids," says an onlooker. "They wanted to be tucked away in the back booth. They definitely seemed happy." A few days later they were also seen leaving a movie theater holding hands.

Maybe one-on-one time is just the antidote they need to deal with all of the recent craziness. "The biggest challenge they've been facing is dealing with the stress of the Deflategate situation," says a source close to the model.

"She's being a supportive wife, just like anybody whose husband would be going through something like this,” says a source close to Bündchen. "They're surprisingly pretty simple people and very down to earth. Family is first on all fronts."

PEOPLE also get another Patriots WAG on the record in support of the Brady-Bundchen connection:

"They have a good relationship," says Cherynne Montanero, girlfriend of Patriots player Danny Amendola. "They seem to have found the balance of having a family and then having a career." They "absolutely" make a good couple, she adds.

So basically they’ve covered both sides. Lately PEOPLE has lost out on some key exclusives to US Weekly and others. Reporting on Tom and Gisele this way means they won’t be caught with their pants down if the marriage really is “under fire”. I say “if” because it doesn’t sound like PEOPLE actually knows.
Who actually knows? I don’t. I’ve not heard anything from any sources to indicate that a separation is imminent and I’ve not heard anything from sources to indicate that the two are happier than ever.

This is a guy who DESTROYED HIS CELLPHONE. You don’t think he’s been locking down his sh-t for months now, and limiting the people in his circle, cutting off those who might talk? I would imagine it’s hard to get any reliable source on either Tom Brady or Gisele Bundchen at the moment.

PS. Just wanted to re-post this. Any excuse.