Pamela Anderson gave an interview to USA Today recently dishing on her career prospects and her personal life.

According to Pam, she’s super in demand, with producers literally throwing themselves at her for work that she keeps having to turn down.

"I get offers to do movies and TV all the time. I say no to everything. Drives my agent crazy. But I"m lazy. I don"t want to work. I want to be with my kids. So I just fly in from L.A., do a few days of shows and go back home."

Whatever. If she was so coveted, why the f&ck is she showing magic rabbits in Vegas? Please.

The delusions continue with Pam saying she’ll wrap it up in 5 years and then return home. To Canada:

"Five more years of [T&A] and I"ll go back to Canada. I"ve got some land. It"ll be time."

Well we don’t want her! Please keep her!

As for her boys, Pam insists she’s a model mother and helps her kids with their homework. Which is hilarious because rumour has it she has some rather nasty habits that would put her more in the Britney category of chemically induced parenting.

But look at her at the Planet Hollywood Vegas opening two weeks ago. All the ravages of hard living eating way at the core… well OF COURSE she’s a perfect mom.

And the perfect wife. Pam says of her marriage to Paris Hilton’s former porn paramour Rick Salomon: "I"m the happiest I"ve ever been. We"re good for each other."

I recall her saying that last year when she married Kid Rock…you?

Pam being Pam, she also wants you to know she’s getting nailed good and often which is why they don’t go out:

"We're in every night. Having sex."

Naturally it’s the best decision she’s ever made, even though it happened after dating for all of five minutes:

"Nah. I make all of my decisions in about five minutes."

Clearly.

Photos from Wenn