The Goddess gives and the Goddess takes away. Just a year ago, Heather Mills was married to a billionaire. Cut to present and she can"t even get in the door. Having the locks changed on you is embarassing enough but having the locks changed on you when the pappies are around??? As the Fug Girls would say: Well played Goddess…well played. A hundred different spins flying around the UK today, each paper providing a different soap operatic angle to the animosities. Here"s a quick and dirty breakdown: It all started when Heather was too cheap to purchase her own household supplies, necessitating a clandestine visit to Paul"s place to pilfer three bottles of "cleaning fluid" for her office. Kinda petty for Paul if disinfectant was all that was at stake but according to some, Heather"s been as liberal with his money as she"s been with the Windex, allegedly withdrawing a million pounds from his account in less than a month. And while her spokesperson denies the claims, it has been confirmed that Heather"s access to the house and to the funds has indeed been frozen, just the first round in what is believed to be a quick and steady escalation of ugliness as the greedy bitch tries to fight for a lion"s share of the McCartney fortune. Aware that public opinion has been largedly turned against her, Heather is mounting a smear campaign of her own, dispatching friends and staff members to "leak" her version of events to the press in an attempt to position herself as the victim of Beatle bullying, laying the groundwork for what could be some seriously disturbing allegations designed to discredit Paul and, more importantly, blackmail him into capitulation. They don"t call her the Vanguard of Goldiggery for nothin", you know. Thank Goddess for good representation, right? And both sides have chosen wisely, enlisting the help of the same two lawyers who waged war for Charles and Diana respectively. On Paul"s side is a woman by the name of Fiona Shackleton. F&ck. I"m scared of her already. I am however thrilled that he"s got such a tough little terrier on his team. Heather will not die without a bloody fight, even though she"s claiming she"s not in it for the money. But here"s the thing: if she"s NOT in it for the money, if she was NEVER in it for the money, then why go through all the trouble of fighting for the money? Why not take the 30 million pounds that was reportedly offered off the top and call it a day? I mean, she"s the mother of his child. You think he"d let her live in poverty for the rest of her life? Do you know what 30 million pounds is??? It"s like 60 million dollars US! SIXTY MILLION DOLLARS??? Seriously…exactly how much does this bitch need? And again, at the end of the day, if greed was never part of the equation, why in F*CK would she turn it down? Give me a break. Denying that Heather Mills is a golddigger is about as believable as Paris Hilton closing up her black hole vajayjay for a year. Not. Happening. Team Paul all the way. In fact, I hope he crushes her. Photo from Saving Face