I was born in Toronto. My heart bleeds Maple Leafs blue and white. But today I love Toronto for another reason.

I love my hometown because my hometown hates Hollywood Ebola!

So Paris Hilton has arrived in Toronto to start shooting some lame ass musical. Last night she went to Lobby for a fashion show flanked only by a geriatric (like seriously old man) and some other douche who was described as “a hired friend”. Snort.

Several bodyguards surrounded her booth which was apparently a waste of money. Because no one cared. Former Maple Leaf Tie Domi sat in the booth next door…he didn’t give a sh-t. Did not care to be introduced, didn’t even look over for fear she’d spread her legs and contaminate his ass.

In fact, the crowd was so unimpressed with Ebola, she actually resorted to taking pictures of herself….HERSELF!!! No one approached her, no “fans” wanted to pose with her, so she posed and pointed for her own lens.

But seriously…how f&cking hurting do you have to be to start taking self portraits in the middle of a club???

Heads up Toronto – Ebola will be in town for 3 months. Be vigilant. Wash your hands. And if you see her, give her a good old fashioned Hogtown Heckle. I recommend:

Get your ass out of Canada you filthy virus!

Here’s the disease on the cover of Elle UK.

thanks TP!