Am sure you’ve all seen it – this clip of a rhythmically impaired Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton trying to belly dance on Turkish television – as is the case whenever she attempts to groove, Paris is found to be seriously lacking. Because diseases don’t dance.

What they do however is they slither towards their comfort zones. You will note, she repeatedly spins and twirls and puts her arms above her head, to draw attention away from her awkwardness and down towards her breasts. The virus has many tactics, see?

But seriously… who poses with their hands behind their heads? Super super cheese loser!

And most interesting? Look at what she has to resort to. Paris clearly is unable to keep up with the other woman, so she turns her attention to the man – the musician closest to her on stage. At one point, check it out, it appears as though she considers mounting him. Because we all need a safe haven. For Marcus, my beagle, it’s his crate. If we give him sh*t, or if a peal of thunder roars across the sky, he runs into his crate for protection. We all have a safe spot to where we retreat to regroup and reenergize.

For Ebola Paris Hilton, her safe spot is on top of a c*ck. Or with her mouth around one. This is where her virus gathers strength. And in Turkey, when faced with a more talented dancing partner on stage, an insecure Paris was looking for a prick to ride.

Photos from