Remember, this piece of sh*t never takes a picture without a purpose. So even if she isn’t pregnant, she certainly wants you thinking she is. Because pregnancy is the new craze. Nine months of attention and then a huge spotlight on an innocent child that she would no doubt mold into a virus even more destructive than she is.

Shiloh must be mad at us.

Here are Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton and Benji Madden leaving Beso last night. Needless to say, given that she’s wearing a kilo of foundation, she expected to be photographed. And the smug expression on her diseased head implies she chose this little dress deliberately to better show off what could be a burgeoning bump. Or at the very least to kick off speculation about it.

This is the way Ebola works.

It retreats into the rainforest to gather strength. Indeed, Paris has kept a low profile for many weeks now. Waiting, lurking, ready to unleash an epidemic more potent than the last. An epidemic that will leave its victim haemorrhaging from every orifice, screaming for relief.

Shiloh have mercy. Shiloh help us all.

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