Hollywood Ebola holding court at her Malibu beach house this weekend, entertaining the pappies, and also recruiting a new accessory – now that she’s exploited her dogs and saturated the market with photos of herself abusing animals, Paris has unleashed her virus all over a small child.

So disturbing in so many ways.

First…it’s obvious. Hollywood Ebola is infecting our children, Paris Hilton is laying her diseased eggs onto our young, ensuring her evil immortality.

But perhaps even more alarming – who the fack are the parents dumb enough to expose their kids to Ebola, not only bringing them to her house but allowing her to touch them? In doing so, they are helping to build her legacy – breeding future generations of twats and useless dickheads.

Ebola will never die. And THAT is why it was so much fun watching it suffer in prison. Sigh. We will always have Lynnwood.