Patrick Dempsey “saved” his marriage! His marriage was a baby in a burning building and he strapped an ‘S’ on his chest, busted in there and rescued that sh-t like the McHero he is. Dempsey, the hero, is on the cover of PEOPLE with the headline “I Had to Change My Life” and right under that there’s some BS about “saving his marriage.” Patrick and his wife Jillian are back together after announcing their separation in January 2015. 

This is a direct quote from the article:

"Everybody has their own path," says Dempsey, 50. "Jill and I decided it was time to work on our issues and improve. We wanted to be role models for our kids like, okay, if you have differences, you can work them out." 

Aw, so nice, right? As Lainey would say, “As IF.” My problem with this narrative is that it makes it seem like Patrick Dempsey is the good guy. But… Shonda Rhimes doesn’t kill off the good guys. When I found out McDreamy was going to die on Greys Anatomy, I cried actual tears for an unhealthy amount of time and I hadn’t even seen the episode yet. I love Derek Shepherd that hard. You don’t want to know what happened when I watched the episode. Initially, I was so mad at Shonda for taking away my beloved McDreamy when I should have been mad at Patrick Dempsey. Patrick Dempsey is not Derek Shepherd. According to reports, which he denies, while he was married with three kids, Dempsey was sleeping with an intern or a production assistant or whatever on set. Plus, he was an egotistical dick. His wife Jillian left him and he got fired, because you don’t mess with Shonda f-cking Rhimes, all within the span of a few months. He lost his wife and his job. His actions had very real consequences. So, it bothers me when a PEOPLE cover story implies that he’s the Saviour or the Family Man or the Good Guy who runs into burning buildings.

Patrick Dempsey is in Bridget Jones's Baby. He’s clearly trying to be a movie star (again) and he's using the re-committed family man angle to help sell his image. But instead of owning up to his shortcomings or outright admitting that he f-cked up, he says this about getting back together with his wife Jillian:

“I wasn't prepared to give up on her and she wasn't either. We both wanted to fight for it."

He couldn't give up on HER? Or should it say that she finally took him back? Should it say that she took him back after the alleged cheating and the asshole behaviour? AFTER he lost his job and Shonda showed him how much of a badass she is? He's making it seem like he didn't crawl back to his wife with his dick between his legs begging her not to take him for half. There’s also that possibility. He just didn't want to pay for a divorce. Google tells me he’s worth 40 million. Maybe the only thing Patrick Dempsey “saved” is a lot of money.

Listen, a man wanting to work on his relationship with his wife is a nice sentiment. I’m all about happy endings. It’s great that Patrick and Jillian’s three kids have their parents back together. It’s probably that I’m a cynical bitch with a personal bias against (allegedly) cheating assholes but I can’t help but think there’s going to be another intern or production assistant or whatever.

I’ll leave you with the Patrick Dempsey marriage advice no one asked for.

"You've got to keep at it," he says. "You've got to communicate, and stay open and not get lazy. And not give up. And lots of sex!"

To clarify, he means with his wife.

Also attached - Dempsey at the Berlin premiere of Bridget Jones's Baby last night.