At every event, there’s someone who wastes her potential. Almost everyone wasted their potential this year but I feel like Penelope Cruz wastes it more often than not. I mean, she’s capable of the spectacular. And what we get is too often pastels and feathers. Or a hybrid toga baby sling. Every one of my friends who’s ever had a baby has one of those things – you wrap it around your shoulder and your waist in some kind of complicated loop situation and somehow the baby doesn’t fall out. And I would actually prefer this to the Giambattista Valli that Pene chose for the Oscars because at least the baby contraption has a function. Nothing on this dress is working though. NOTHING. Which is infuriating because it’s not even polarising. Polarising could be fun. Polarising means that one side will defend it. The problem here is that she’s wearing something universally unappealing.

And then some idiot at the Academy had to go and call her Salma Hayek (Source).