Javier Bardem walked the carpet last night at the Biutiful gala with director Alejandro Gonzales Inarritu in Cannes after hanging out together earlier in the day for the photo call and press conference. Oh la Javier. He’s hot when he’s just being. And then he opens his mouth and he growls out his words in that low rumble of a voice, in that sexy quivering accent and it’s over. You’re his for life.

What of Penelope?

She’s here too. But did not walk the carpet, sneaking in for the premiere at another entrance presumably because she didn’t want to take anything away from Javier’s film but, then again, you really can’t hide in Cannes. Not well anyway. Some would say it’s more supportive to be seen, to draw attention to the event, to use her considerable star power, and Penelope is indeed a major celebrity, and direct it towards his projects. Bah. Gwyneth and Chris are the same way. Later on though they walked hand in hand to dinner, a handsome, fiery couple.

But over and over again the incessant irritating Cruz BumpWatch. This time it’s because she told someone that she was pregnant who decided to tell Facebook? I can’t remember the chronology of events. In this black dress though, to my untrained eye, I don’t know, there doesn’t seem room for a baby in there. Again however, it’s not my area of expertise. Please, by all means though, pull that sh-t apart and dissect every inch. Let me know if you detect a fetus.

PS. Inarritu called Biutiful his most “hopeful” film. I think I must have watched a different movie. Because Biutiful was so f-cking desolate that for 2 hours not even Javier could give me the moists.

Photos from Wenn.com and INF