Apparently winning an Oscar now gives her the right to demonstrate her Bitch Face. Amazing.

At the very end of the Hugh Jackman/Beyonce/Mamma Mia number, Hugh shouted out “Musicals are back”! Or something to that effect. Take a look at Pene’s expression. She does not agree.

Penelope Cruz hates musicals

So yeah, I was underwhelmed by her dress. She’s worn it 10 times already. In different colours. The puffy train, the strapless, and sure it was a muted colour this time but whatever… I didn’t care. The same way I don’t care for her fringe.

She’s also way too serious. In the press room it was all about “art and creativity and acting” and f-ck it went on forever, to the point where I was about to stand up and take Oscar away from her because she was coming between me and FOOD. Two commercial breaks and she was still talking! Ms Cruz, please can I eat? I still haven’t learned how to say this in Spanish. Admittedly my Rosetta Stone enthusiasm waned after 2 days.

Anyway about her and Javier – she’s not talking. No one is talking. So as you’d expect, they’re supposedly broken up again. They were broken up before Christmas too before they went on holiday together. Another one of those Gwyneth and Chris situations – no publicising of the love. Because they are thespians, have you heard?

Oh and Sahara really was a piece of cinematic excellence.

PS. Nicole wins an Oscar, Penelope wins an Oscar. When does Katie win an Oscar?

Photos from and and

Herbal Essences