Last night at the CMT Awards, Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman looked beautiful. Seriously beautiful. Like a statue or an artifact polished and presented, like any inanimate work of art, stunningly beautiful without the blush of life.

Here’s Gran with Keith basking in her expectant glow, slightly, I think, bigger in the belly than the last time we saw her, and clearly freshly returned from a Botox, Restalyne, Collagen touch-up. Because that sh*t is brand new. Her face, I mean.

As for that bump and the slow rate of its growth, people here in Hollywood are still convinced of that nasty surrogate rumour. Which is probably why she made an extra effort last night to stick it out and pull the fabric across her stomach and in case you’re curious, this is the current sales pitch:

No pregnant woman ever glowed, or was as gorgeous, or giving, or gracious as Granny with child.

But of course not.