Over in Monaco, Prince Albert married Charlene Wittstock. Rumour has it they confiscated her passport... what??? I’m telling you, that’s what the papers have reported even though the royals are vehemently denying it. It’s almost medieval, non?

Anyway, the spectacular spectacular is happening later. The civil ceremony took place in the day time. Afterwards, the newlyweds appeared on the balcony at the Prince’s Palace for the customary wave and kiss.

We need to play Photo Assumption on this kiss which is nothing like Will & Kate:

Her hunched shoulders and closed eyes – just me or does she seem... squeamish? And does it look like he’s straining? In the shot of her as she’s leaning in towards him, almost sort of maybe affectionately, he actually appears to be trying to hold in a fart, or his regret.

After all, we now know this man was a player. And now he’s officially a husband. As for Charlene – she’s officially a Princess now, but some say it might actually be closer to a Prisoner.

Drama in the House of Grimaldi!

Photos from Pascal Le Segretain/Sean Gallup/Gettyimages.com