After several days of being boring by themselves in Canada, Prince William and Catherine decided to stop our collective yawning by bringing out their royal children, Big G and Charlotte, the wild child. They all attended a public playdate with military families at Government House in Victoria.

Let’s start with Big G, the future king and destroyer of worlds. Apparently he loved the bubble maker. Bubbles are, indeed, irresistible. We had a bubble maker on the show recently and I instantly felt lighter, happier. Happiness, for Big G, is associated with destruction. This, from now on, should be known as the face of destruction, the uninhibited thirst for destruction.

We also saw evidence today that Big G suffers from FOMO. This is a rare occurrence because, obviously, anything that matters always happens in his presence …except…when it’s happening in his sister’s presence. Check out Big G’s reaction when he realises the balloon maker is entertaining her instead of him:

I have a friend who was there today. Apparently Big G shouted, “But I want one!” when he thought that he would be missing out. As IF he would ever miss out on anything.

When you grow up with a brute like Big G as an older brother, either you become the opposite or you match him, demand for demand, ego to ego. Charlotte, evidently, is not a mouse. Charlotte, rather, is a slapper, already a really effective one. Look at this wild one totally givin’er on this tower of balloons. She’s a medieval warrior, already, the Virgin Queen Elizabeth in her blood:

You remember when Big G tried to get his chubby hands around that bilby in Australia? Well in Canada, Charlotte trampolined a dog:

The lesson here is that both Big G and Wild C will sit on ANYONE and ANYTHING.