The Cambridges have officially kicked off their tour of New Zealand and Australia and Little G is, as expected, the big star. Ordinary babies hijack everything as it is. But a royal baby? Jesus. Nothing could baby-jack a royal baby.

I like the size of this royal baby. He's at the age now where he's not frightening anymore. When I say frightening I mean at the beginning. Those first 3 months or so when they're so small and fragile and their heads haven't come in yet. The head thing is the part that freaks me out the most. Like, their HEADS ARE STILL GROWING OVER THEIR BRAINS. It's f-cked up.

George Cambridge is a lot more robust now. And in great spirits even after travelling for over 24 hours. His parents look pretty good too. The British press, assholes as they can be, is making noise about how Kate's skirt swirled in the wind but, as you can see, that thing falls well below her knee so stop suggesting that she shouldn't wear short skirts because if that is considered short, I don't know who we are anymore. Strong gusts happen. So what? I can't believe it's 2014 and we are still covering our tits over a breeze exposing a woman's legs.

Anyway, it's going to be 3 weeks straight of royal baby porn now that the Cambridges are on the road. Be ready.