I know you read a very suggestive article on People.com this weekend about Pippa leaving the reception at Buckingham Palace with Harry and got all excited. It was misleading. Sorry to kill your boner.

Hot Harry and Pippa did indeed leave at the same time. But on a bus. With many others. And they were headed to the afterparty at the Goring Hotel. Where he met up with Chelsy Davy. Chelsy travelled by car with Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie. She’s tight with them. She did however sit next to Harry at dinner. And they were seen making out during the evening. And they left together in the morning, at 6am, having raged for hours and hours and hours together, long after Pippa went to bed.

Pippa can’t keep up. Pippa also has a boyfriend. A very serious one. They say an engagement announcement could be imminent, although with all the attention on her now, perhaps she won’t be putting away her dance card just yet. If not a royal through Harry, than maybe someone else…?

Which is not to say that #harrylovespippa is impossible. But the more I think on it, it’s not something you want on any girl. Especially with Chelsy hanging around. More on that in a minute.

Sidebar on Chelsy first: straight up, the way she looked was f-cking busted. Like, that sh-t won’t age well. Look at it around the neck already. I mean, I know no one was taking away from Kate that day but you’d think a little more effort was in order, non? Jesus she’s like a f-cking Lohan.

Will Harry marry Chelsy? I don’t think so. Rather, here’s how I think it’ll go down.

He’ll marry a safe girl. He’ll marry someone who’s been approved by the people who make those approvals. She will be beautiful and well bred…and boring. She will bore him. And that poor girl will suffer. Because Harry will, for the rest of his life, go back to Chelsy again and again and again. Sound familiar?

Harry is the family f-ck up: never badly intended, but somehow he’s always a mess. Which is why he’s so endearing. It’s like he can’t help himself. Also…

He’s really, really cute with the children. Did you see him with the children?

Please.

It’s too much when Harry’s with the children. And the puppies.

And when he’s doing saucy things for his brother. Like decorating the Aston Martin. Remember when Will and Kate drove out of Buck in a JU5T WED convertible with balloons billowing out the back and an “L” plate at the front?

Harry put the “L” plate there. It had a double meaning. Both to tease his brother for being a novice driver, and, ahem, perhaps a novice something else on his wedding night. Get it? Scamp.


Photos from Wenn.com and Rory Fisher/Stuart Wallace/Splashnewsonline.com