At this writing it’s 4pm in London. Harry still has an entire evening ahead of him before he can return to Kensington Palace, take off his dinner jacket, slump onto the couch with a beer, and fall asleep with his hand down his pants...with nothing to wake up to tomorrow! Until they sneak Chelsy in around midnight later on this week, maybe Thursday? It will have been a week that they’ve not been able to see each other. The Lonely Prince has his needs, you know.

When Chelsy’s around, like at the wedding last year, at least he has someone to smoke with. He lost his smoking partner when Mrs Cambridge finally kicked it. Besides, William hated it. So Kate broke up with cigarettes (and still managed to not gain any weight!) leaving Harry to sneak off alone at family gatherings. Yes, yes, one of Andrew’s girls usually goes with him but they’ve tried off and on to give it up too, and besides, Granny doesn’t let them get away with it the way Harry does. Like the way he gets away with looking sleepy and sulky in church because he partied too hard last night and didn’t want to wake up this morning. They say the Queen has always indulged the boys over the girls. I believe it.