Sure, MJ’s kids have inherited their father’s fortune but they’ve also inherited his misfortune of having to spend their lives as tabloid side shows – and now that they’ve apparently started dating this is only going to intensify. This week, Prince, Michael’s oldest son (and oldest of two children named Prince!), has been photographed on what looks like a date with a classmate. Like his father, who famously romanced women such as Whitney Houston and Elvis’s daughter, Prince isn’t just chasing after some plain old Homeroom Hilary. This chick? She’s an actual princess. Click here to see the photos.
Her name is Remi Alfalah and she’s reportedly an heiress to the Kuwaiti throne and goes to the same private school as the Jackson kids. My first thought when I learned this was “oh man, can you imagine the birthday parties you must get invited to if you’re in school with these kids??”, but then I realized these two are on a date and what are they doing? They’re f*cking bowling. Bowling, which is what I did in high school and what am I the heiress to? Some Michael Jackson vinyl, a weird stir-fry recipe and a place on the throne of the Ajax, Ontario curling league (not complaining!).
The point is, no matter how rich and privileged you are, whether you’re pop royalty or actual royalty, the process of trying to work your teenage swerve on is lame and undignified for everyone. This fact led to a conversation with Lainey about whether Prince was a virgin or not. We both agreed that he has the creepy aura of desperate horny-ness that can only appear on someone who’s yet to actually get it in. So good luck to you, Prince and Princess. I hope all your lame-ass bowling turns into, ya know, a real strike in the sack.