The Queen and Prince Philip were joined by Prince William and Princess Anne at the event to mark the 800th anniversary of the Magna Carta today at Runnymede which is close to Windsor which, of course, is where Windsor Castle is –the Queen’s preferred home, where the Order of the Garter service happens. And that went down today too.

I was just there in April, visiting my friend Lorella who lives close to Windsor. We went on a tour of the castle on April 21, Her Majesty’s birthday. She was in residence. Next time you go to England, I recommend taking the train and touring the castle. It’s a magnificent castle. It feels like a real castle. St George’s Chapel, where the Garter service takes place, is breathtaking, even though it’s tiny. Every current member of the Garter has a banner of his/her coat of arms inside the chapel – at least that’s what I picked up from the audio tour though to be honest, sometimes I tune in and out of those things. The coats of arms are displayed in a corridor of the castle – an area that has been restored after a devastating fire broke out a few years ago. Along the walls, every knight of the Order of the Garter is listed from way, way back and you can find their arms up on the ceiling. Except some of them have been blacked out, like maybe they tried to kill their king or something. But what was funniest to me was that some of the arms are ridiculous. Like you’ll have the standard super official ones with lions and dragons and crowns and swords all over the place and then one dude? His arms were just a few pairs of shoes. SHOES. One guy put up his golf clubs. Eventually Prince Big G will have his own coat of arms. I wonder if he’ll just make it a giant fist. 

Big G wasn’t invited to the Magna Carta and the Garter events. The Queen has decided he’s done enough cockblocking for one week.