They unveiled Princess Catherine’s first official portrait today. As you can see, it’s sh-t. At least to me it’s sh-t. She’s 31. The artist made her look 45, with tired eyes a weird half smile that’s not even her signature expression. And is she greying at the part? This is terrible. And while she’s released word that she’s very happy with it, f-ck, what else is she supposed to say? Any complaints and we’d accuse her of being vain and high maintenance. Now she just has to eat it.

Here’s Kate with William at the National Portrait Gallery for the unveiling this morning. This is what I mean when I reported that she was very early, like maybe only 6 or 7 weeks, when she was hospitalised. That would put her at 12 weeks only now, which is why she doesn’t appear to be showing yet.