Written by Sarah

You go to enough of these things and you start to recognize the people, even if the faces change.

That Starlet has problems, everyone knows about it but so far the public hasn’t gotten wind. They will when she stumbles out of here at 3 AM, panties long gone and a suspicious powder all down her front. There’s That One Actor, not super famous but works steadily—everybody is making a point to say hi to him. The Newly Famous Guy is here and no one is sure why because his music/movie/TV show isn’t represented but then, he needs to be seen with this crowd. And over there is the Screen Queen—gosh she’s as pretty in person as she is on film, and that’s rare. But mostly the crowd is press and businesspeople, the ones who keep the Hollywood wheels turning.

Then there’s this greaseball in the middle of the room, surrounded by wannabes, waving a drink around as he gestures wildly and calls all the waitresses “baby”. He’s wearing an Ed Hardy shirt under a blazer and has his Aviators on. (It’s eleven o’clock and night and you’re inside.) He talks so loudly you can’t help but overhear. “Yeah I’ve got that project with Universal; they’ve given me thirty mill. I’m interviewing directors now, but I think I’m going to hire that guy that makes all the music videos. He really knows What The Kids Want To See.”

Roll your eyes and try to get past the traffic jam he’s creating, the crowd of Hopeful Young Things growing steadily as he name-checks everybody in Hollywood. Even a couple waiters have stopped to listen. “We’ve been talking to Ryan—no, not that one, the better looking one—and he thinks this is something special.”

Now you’re just trying not to laugh out loud and make a scene. You know That Ryan is long past the time where he had to return this creep’s calls. You’re almost past the knot of people when you hear: “Kate Bosworth and Rachel Bilson are on board.”*

Your martini attempts to come out your nose as you stifle a laugh. Kate Bosworth *and* Rachel Bilson? You look at your friend and you’re on the same wavelength. What’s this movie called, “Worthless and Worthlesser”? Who would hire either of these chicks, let alone both of them? You glance back at Sunglasses At Night. Well, yeah, that guy would. But guys like that, they talk a big game and usually nothing comes of it. “On board” means “I have Fed-Ex’ed them a script”.

Finally past the crowd and you spot two unprepossessing men in the corner. They’re well dressed but not ostentatious. One man is speaking quietly, the other has his chin in his hand as he stares at his feet, listening intently. He nods a couple times and never looks directly at the man talking to him. After a few minutes they both smile and shake hands, melting into the crowd to go their separate ways. No one is paying them any attention. A Deal has just been made.

*Actual conversation overheard by Lainey last night at TIFF.

Written by Sarah
Photos from Wenn.com