Dear Gossips,

I finally had a chance last night to check out Billy On The Street’s Escape From Scientology (thanks Kelly!). The video was released earlier this week and, well, I don’t want to say too much but Rachel Dratch has to make it through a harrowing Xenu-themed obstacle course. It’s hysterical. Especially the “shed”. I know that means nothing to you if you haven’t watched it yet but it will mean everything to you afterwards.

There are some undeniable truths in Hollywood that, for some reason, remain a mystery to most other people, especially those who don’t live on the internet like we do. And there are a lot of them. This is the kind of sh-t that reminds me that we all live in bubbles. The bubble that’s unaware of the “shed” is pretty big. But there’s another JT bubble that’s even bigger. Maybe that one’s not a bubble. Maybe that one is just the rest of the world.

A couple of days ago I received an email from someone coming for me because she was tired of me dumping on Justin Timberlake all the time. In my bubble, where I live, we remember the Justin Timberlake who basically left Janet Jackson for dead after the Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction. We know the Justin Timberlake who ME ME MEs his way through every appearance, to the point where a representative for the Shriners Hospital for Children, an organisation THAT HELPS CHILDREN, called him out for not showing up when the cameras weren’t on. Click here for a refresher.

The Yes JT bubble doesn’t hold him accountable for what happened with Janet, even though he was 50% responsible. Practically everyone benefitted from that situation EXCEPT Janet. The NFL is more powerful than some countries. JT’s success is well documented. A week later he went on to win a Grammy on the same network that televised the Super Bowl. And Janet’s nipple even gave rise to a social media platform that we all use, every single day. You know that that Super Bowl half time performance resulted in the eventual creation of YouTube, right? The people who created YouTube were frustrated that they couldn’t replay the moment online. So they designed a website that would enable users to post their own video content. That site became YouTube. Pretty much everyone came out a winner, while Janet, well, she got banned. And it took her over a decade to recover. In all that time, JT has never, ever stood with Janet. Or maybe he did. He just stood there and watched her eat so much sh-t for something they did together. So even in 20 years, when he writes his memoirs, and decides only then to express regret for not standing in solidarity with a fellow artist, I’ll still be over here, in a tiny bubble, remembering how a boy with blonde curls got away with it, again.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,